[C320-list] Rough Draft of Mainsheet Article

[John Meyers]

Ahhh-  someone has been watch me use these tools and took notes.

John Meyers


On Mon, Jun 24, 2013 at 2:54 PM, Chris Burti <clburti at gmail.com> wrote:

> Here is a rough draft of a DIY article from an unknown source;
>
> DIY Tools in the C-320 Tool  Loaner Program and How to Use Them
>
> There have been several discussions on the C-320 IA discussion list of
> our tool loaner program and some of the contents of the tool kit that
> are particularly unique to marine maintenance. As those discussions
> also treated the proper use of those tools, we will not address them
> in this article. However, we are aware that some owners may be a bit
> new to DYI and we thought that a discussion of some of the other tools
> in the kit (or available from your neighbors) and their uses might be
> well received.
>
> Circular Saw (Skil Saw Brand):
> A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
>
> Belt Sander:
> An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs
> into major refinishing jobs.
>
> Wire Wheel:
> Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the
> workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and
> hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to
> say, 'Oh stuff''.
>
> Drill Press:
> A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar
> stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings
> your beer across the room, denting the freshly-varnished project which
> you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
>
> Slip Joint Pliers (Channel-Lock Brand):
> Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
> blood-blisters.
>
> Hacksaw:
> One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle...
> It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and
> the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
> future becomes.
>
> Grip Lock Pliers (Vise Grip Brand):
> Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If
> nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense
> welding heat to the palm of your hand.
>
> Oxy-Acetylene Torch:
> Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your
> shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside
> the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
>
> Table Saw:
> A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles
> for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!
>
> Hydraulic Floor Jack:
> Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed
> your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the
> bumper.
>
> Band Saw:
> A large stationary power saw primarily used in most shops to cut large
> pieces of wood into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash
> after you cut on the wrong side of the line.
>
> Two-Ton Engine Hoist:
> A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you
> forgot to disconnect.
>
> Phillips Screwdriver:
> Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening
> old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but
> can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw
> heads.
>
> Straight Screwdriver:
> A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common
> slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
>
> Pry Bar:
> A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you
> needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>
> PVC Pipe Cutter:
> A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
>
> Hammer:
> Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as
> a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the
> object we are trying to hit.
>
> Utility Knife:
> Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons
> delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such
> as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
> magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially
> useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
>
> Son of a Witch Tool:
> Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling
> 'Son of a Witch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the
> next tool that you will need.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Chris Burti
> Farmville, NC
>